♥.:xXxRomanticidexXx:.♥® I LOVE YOU ALWAYS SAYANG!

Do you guys go for looks or heart ? :)

2011-02-11T22:46:00.001+08:00

Do you guys go for looks or heart ? :)

Answer here

Are you Okay with 'Friends with Benefits'?

2011-02-11T21:12:00.001+08:00

Are you Okay with 'Friends with Benefits'?

Answer here

formspring.me

2011-01-03T19:42:00.001+08:00

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/ifaabdul

First dream of th year...

2011-01-01T07:56:00.002+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

I dreamt tt i was in msia.
Then i wanted to go back singapore wif my younger brother.
Then my mom dont let.
But i die2 stubborn, and left anw.
And then otw to singapore,
we went thru this city complex for our ride.
While gg thru this complex, suddenly 3 msian police was like surrounding us
But thy were all friendly but very kaypoh.
They wanted to check my hp lah what lah.
But me n my brother got no time as we wanted to catch th so call last bus.
Then one of th police went to toilet.
Th other police abit scaredy cat, especially when provoke.
Th last one is th braver one but very weak in strength.
Idky in tt dream, i hit tt brave police and as he bent down and cringe in pain,
me and brother ran for our lives.
And thn we heard th sound of running footsteps behind us.
Bt we continued running, never stop for a second.
Then we tried to find th bus, bt dnt haf.
Then we go th longer route, by means of swimming and all.
We swam a big, large ocean where got crocodiles and stuff.
But alas we reached a jungle clearing abandoned hut.
Went in th hut, and squat down. Trying to hide away.
Then we checked th place out and found three cages wif dead animal inside.
Then i told my brother, nothing here.
But then he go and looked into th cage, and started cleaning them.
To give them a proper burial.
Then suddenly, th first animal frm th top cage awoken.
He's not dead! And suddenly he was like flying2 around.
It looks like a kite liddat. We sumhow revived him.
Then we hopped onto his back coz he want to send us home.
Then suddenly while flying over a village, one old lady suddenly shouted at us.
Th kite animal dropped us in fear and flew away.
Then t old lady chased us arnd th village.
and we heard her saying, why did u revive him??
Was understood tt he's a captive tt shud b locked in tt cage forever.
Then th lady wanted to kill us for we haf released him.
Then th whole villager was chasing us.
Bt we ran faster.
Th villagers started turning into zombies and th village was really dark.
Then we ran and ran non-stop at th same time hitting all
th zombies tt get in our way.
At th end of th village we saw so many police.
Its like thy're waiting for us.
Then we soon give up. Coz no matter hw far we run, thy still can catch us.
Then we ask, how u noe where we are?
They said tht thy haf secretly attach a tracking device at my jacket.
duhh...
Then he said, ure a freeman.
Ure not guilty of anything.
U are free to go.
And thy send us back home in singapore.
Then i woke up.
The End...

A New Year's Message...

2011-01-01T00:30:00.002+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

♥ Happy new year sayang... ♥
♥ Tho im really sad tt i cant be wif u celebrating th new year, ♥
♥ still im happy tt 2010 has found me ♥
♥ a new person in my life whom i really really love... ♥
♥ I wish we will never ever part sayang. ♥
♥ I really miss u like crazy. ♥
♥ Im at home, alone in my room thinking of u. ♥
♥ Thinking of us. ♥
♥ Thinking of th journey we went through together. ♥
♥ Especially during our toughest times. ♥
♥ Im sure in th future, thre're more to come. ♥
♥ We jst need to hold on tight ♥
♥ and pray tt our love will never be apart. ♥
♥ How i wish i cud see fireworks wif u. ♥
♥ And give u a new year kiss. ♥
♥ And hug u tight, and whisper words of love. ♥
♥ Right nw, idk y i feel so scared to face 2011. ♥
♥ Im so scared of changes. Im so scared of being alone. ♥
♥ Please b oways there for me sayang... ♥
♥ Ill oways be here fr u. I love u sayang. ♥
♥ I really really do... ♥
♥ Miss u, and all th best for Monday... ♥
♥ Ill oways pray for u... Mwah! ♥
HAPPY NEW YEAR ALIENS!!!

Life as it is...

2010-12-30T22:34:00.002+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

I cant be expecting much out of anybody.
Th only person i could ever depend on, is myself.
If i dont do nothing, i wont get anything.
Like thy oways say, no pain, no gain.
Lately, idk why i feel so restless, hopeless, useless, lazy.
I seriously need to buck up.
My new year resolution...
Its to find a good full-time job tt can support me and my family.
Hpefully my prayers will be answered.

...

2010-12-23T23:55:00.001+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

Im soo bored.
Idk wht to do.
Enjoyed those two days aft work wif u.
Heh...
Tmr work again.
So lazy and tired to work.
Lazy sia.
But no choice.
Haiz...

Scared...

2010-12-17T19:47:00.002+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

Im scared of my boyfriend when he's mad.
Ive seen it beforehand.
Ive never been so scared even if my mom scold me.
Or my big brother scold me.
But when he scold me,
i was literally shivering, standing, and looking down.
Afraid to meet his eyes.
But it all started wif me.
If i were him, id do th same.
No wonder he was so angry.
My attitude suck big time.
I disobeyed him alotta time.
Kept on sulking towards him for no reason.
Wout knowing im hurting him
And im hurting me too.
Im soo soo sorry baby...
And lucky i made th right choice by staying by ur side.
If not, i wudnt noe wht myte happen.
And i wudnt wna noe too.
I wudnt wna lose u.
Coz i really2 love u alot.
Ure th only guy tt has showered me wif love wholeheartedly.
Never have i felt a love as sincere as urs.
But ive learned my lesson.
I gotta stop behaving like a small kid.
And this rs, is by far th most special for me.
Coz ive never love anyone so damn deep.
Previous rs, whenever we fyte,
all i think of is break.
And ill say tt word.
Break then patch then break then patch.
Like childsplay.
So stupid. So naive i was.
Bt wif u, ill promise to never ever mention th word break.
Coz i noe i dun wna lose u.
Now and forever.
And im looking forward to meet u again sayang.
I wna cmplete Fatal Frame wif u.
Gahh! When can i see u againnn? Haiz...
New year! Faster come!

After so long...

2010-12-13T20:38:00.003+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

Today, idky i feel like crying so bad.
Bt tears jst wnt come out.
I feel as if thre's smething missing in my life.
Th only person who really noes me well, is my beautiful mom.
She never fails to spot my feelings.
She oways noes whts been bothering me.
She oways noes whats th best for me.
Tho how i seldom come home,
by one look, she noes me well enuf.
Coz she's my mom.
I oways made her cry.
Tho how much ive hurt her, she still accepted me for who i am.
She still can accept my flaws.
She is th best mother in th whole world.
She's mine... I dun wna lose her.
I really love this mother of mine.
Tho words and actions of love are sometimes abit hard to show,
th feelings i have for my own mom, im sure she noes.
Coz i felt it from her too...
She oways pray for me, my safety, my wellbeing.
Oways advice me th same thing over n over.
Coz she's reminding me not to be someone tt im not sppose to be.
I love my mom th best.
For taking care of me till im at this age, well and healthy.
For educating me religiously.
For constantly advising me about whts good for me.
For every single thing tt she has done for me
Even when she's putting herself in trouble coz of me.
I admit im nt a good child. Bt still, she endured my attitude.
She endured th harshness ive shown towards her.
She help me alot in times of my difficulty.
She took th blame for my wrong.
She defended me even if im in th wrong.
She will do everything for me, to keep me safe even if im all grown up.
My mother is th mother of all mothers.
And im proud for what she has gone thru.
My mom is a strong woman. And i really2 love her alot...
And i cant accept if plp badmouth or insult my mother.
Coz ure nothing and cnt even b compared to her.
I love u ibu...
Last two days, a friend of my sayang just passed away.
Innalillahi wainnalillah hirajiuun.
And coincidently, he was also a friend of my big brother.
And a friend of my other friend. He used to b in my primary school.
Bt i dun noe him at all.
Hopefully GOD will bless his soul.
Deepest condolences to his family and friends.
Ryte now, idk wht has been bothering me.
Maybe im starting to feel different.
I dun like this feeling.
A feeling of which i cant control.
And i dun wna hurt or be hurt...
And if by avoiding, silence and ignorance hurts most.
Haizz...
Im leading a life full of complications.
But i think im th one who's making it complicated.
Thanks ifa... =/
And sayang, pray everything will go well next month.
InsyaAllah...

No words to describe...

2010-11-29T20:56:00.003+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

Lately idk wht seems to b wrong wif me.
Im easily agitated by people around me.
Im very impatient.
And i easily snapped at people just for minor2 thing.
Hmm... My attitude is getting frm bad to worse.
Tts wht my mom tells me. Cudnt agree more.
Hmm...
Anws, life has been abit hard for me.
Idky but i keep thinking of th plp frm my past.
Th things tt happened to me.
And its not recent past.
Its like years back past.
It feels as if thres smethg missing in my life.
I jst cudnt figure out wht...
Just dun like to reminisce th things tt has far been over fr me.
Bt jst cudnt help it.
Right now, my mind keeps on telling me
Whatever wna happen, let it happen.
Tho my heart is truly scared of what might happen
Or maybe im just insecure...
Things are starting to change bit by bit.
Jst dk how to describe it.
But i felt tt its nt th same as bfre.
Anws, my sayang helped me to regain my password back.
Coz ive forgotten my password on my lappy under Windows Vista system.
And he hacked it and i can use my lappy again.
Thanks syg! And hope u get well soon...
Im rlly worried fr u...
Love u. (=

Durian

2010-11-18T21:16:00.002+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

Today is really a boring day.
Coz im not wif u.
Everywhere is boring wout u...
Anws, today i wake up really early for school
Woke up at 630am, bathed.
went out frm home 715.
then suddenly while walking towards train,
my stomach suddnly felt soo painful.
and my knees went weak.
my visions blurred and blacken.
my hearing lost.
i felt my lips cracken and dry.
and i found th nearest possible place to land my butt
everything was like moving in slow motion.
where u can hear ur heart thumped so loudly.
ur movements slow.
rested thre for like half an hour.
then walked slowly again to take th train
by then was alr almost 8.
then reached cck alr.
then stomach damn pain again.
went to toilet at cck.
stayed inside for like 15mins.
totally cannot tahan.
cant even walk properly.
then went to take lrt. reached school at 9 plus.
sayang keep telling me to go back home and rest.
bt im so stubborn.
coz i dowan later plp think im oways lazy to go school
or everytime wake up late.
bt thy cn nvr understnd wht im gg thru.
so no use explaining.
and jst get fucked by thm.
lately been upset by sme of my frnds.
idk y. myb its me coz im having mood swings.
i tot thy're so call my good buddies.
bt smetimes i feel like ive been taken advantage of.
like times when i hve things thy wan,
thn i can see their super good side.
if not, thy jst like to criticise me.
maybe criticise is a bigg word.
just tt thy like to gve me nicknames tt can upset me.
i noe thy're joking. bt why must their jokes smetimes b so harsh?
maybe im not a guy like thm
bt when i hit back at thm, thy can feel how i feel.
bt not seeing me hurt by their rude comments and stuff.
im a girl. im much more fragile thn thm.
jst give it a rest. dun cme find me when i have ciggs
or whn u plp cant afford to pay ur meals.
then in th end, poison words cme out of ur mouth.
and u dragged th plp i love.
i told them off. and whether thy accept it, its up to them.
bt now thyve realised their mistakes and apologised to me
but we're not so close as before.
this doesnt worry me one bit.
as long im happy wif my sayang
tts all tt matters.
and on another note, friends tt im not even close with
also got comments about me.
when i never even look at them and think of thm
thy're actually thinking of me and bitching about me
how kind.
FB is a really a place to find new gossips.
and target. why wud thy wna concern thmself about whtever i do
outside school, whatever i do is my problem.
not theirs. if i cud tell thm off,
i wud have done so. bt, im nt hearing it directly frm them.
if i tell thm off now, i can guarantee plus chop thy're jst gna deny it
tts wht two-headed snakes are.
in frnt of u smile and talk to u like good friends
behind of u gossip like small little bitches
and make a person look real bad.
i tot only girls gossip. but now sme guys find it a trend.
believe me, it wun score wif th girls.
big turn off...
now teachers also learn how to gossip.
i tot thy are paid to teach students.
bt instead, thy gossip alongside their students
about other students like a big pussy.
i tot thy're th busiest people in school
bt in actual fact thy still have time to play this kinda game
tt only students play.
uve got ur own family to feed,
so jst take care of thm instead of
other people's affair. tsk. such a disgrace.
anw, enuf talking abt worthless plp.
anws, this week is th first week aft th hols
tt ive attended school straight in a row.
tho im still late. and my attendance still zero.
bt tts not th point. im hear for one aim
to upgrade myself wif knowledge.
and train myself to be a better person.
to make a difference in my life.
if thm teachers dun wna gve me my cert, so b it.
at least ive tried my best.
ill not die coz i dun have th cert.
jst dun compare me wif other plp.
so now, go to school, study, go back school straight.
usually will hang around school for no reason like monkeys.
enuf of tt. i dnt get paid or get anythg out of it.
and to one of my friend whom i can trust,
thanks for all ur help . really appreciate it lots.
=D
and to my sayang, i miss u soo much.
i wna play th sims wif u again n again.
im soo lonely without u by my side.
I love u soo much bby! bye!

I LOVE YOU

2010-11-11T21:02:00.004+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

Lately lazy to update blog.
Coz no time to update.
Got time oso smetimes lazy to update.
Bt now updating coz im damn bored..
And i miss my ayang so damn much...
I love u sayang.
Ill oways wna be with u.
For its u who gave me protection.
Its u who gave me encouragement.
Its u who makes me feel secure.
Its u who cheer me up when im down.
Its u who understands me th most.
Its u who always stand by my side.
Its u who always guides me.
Its u who supports me in no matter wht i do.
Its u who's willing to share my burden wif me.
Its u who makes me smile and fill my days wif laughter.
Its u who always give in when we fight even if im in th wrong.
Its u who never fail to make me fall for u more n more.
Its u who never stop caring for me.
Its u who never stop trusting me.
Its u who never stop believing in me.
And for its u who never stop loving me.
Ure th only one for me sayang.
Ill oways listen to u.
Even tho im stubborn as hell.
Ive never found a man as near to my type of perfection as u.
Never have i love somebody as much as i love u.
From day one, till now, ive never stop loving u.
And i never will want it to stop.
These feelings have been rooted deep in my heart.
For when its pulled out, it'll die of a broken heart.
Then thre'll b no meaning to love.
and thre'll be no meaning to live...
Now and forever, even in th hereafter,
i pledge upon my heart to never stop loving u.
To stay by ur side always.
To take care of ur heart as if its my own.
To understand u.
To go thru thick and thin wif u.
To make u happy.
To b thre for u when u need me.
With all my heart...
I love u soo much sayang... Mwah!

Crying over spilt milk...

2010-10-18T19:41:00.002+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

Hi plp. Been a long time since i update.
Jst updating now coz i gt ntg to do.
Texting my Sayang halfway he fell asleep. GREAT!
Anws, life for me has been totally full of up and down at th same time.
I mean, it is common coz its life after all. If not, ure immortal...
Bt wht i mean is really drastically been up and down.
Down coz of th never ending pain ive gone thru, physically and mentally.
Especially mentally. Mind wasnt stable. Wasnt thinking straight.
If not fr my Sayang, hu is oways oways there fr me.
Ive been mia frm my family and school fr quite a long time.
Now im back hme, bt my heart still wna be thre wif u...
Thanks ayang for oways taking care of me,
worrying for me, loving me
wif all ur heart, putting me to sleep, hugging me tight when i cried,
holding my hand when im in pain,
kissing me when im feeling my lousiest,
singing to me when im daydreaming,
caressing me when im thinking of th lost,
putting a smile on my face when its down,
being there fr me when im at my worse state of mind and body...
ive never felt a love as strong as urs my love.
i never wna lose u yang...
ill always fight for our love and give my all to u.
and ill oways listen to u sayang.
no matter what happen, i wna be here oways for u.
and hope u will b for me too...
Words cant even describe my feelings for u.
This words of love arent enough to convey my feelings fr u.
If only u can feel my heart, ull noe how i really2 feel.
Ive fallen so hard, so deep, so mesmerised by love itself.
I tot i was living in a dream. A dream i never wna wake up from.
I PRAY tt our LOVE will oways b this strong througout our time together forever.
Ill LOVE YOU ♥ no matter wht happen and no matter wht others say.
Ill LOVE YOU ♥ even if life will b difficult for me in th future
Ill LOVE YOU ♥ every single day, hour, minute, seconds im oways thinkg of u...
I LOVE YOU!~ MWAH~

Hmm

2010-09-30T17:36:00.002+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

Nyte cycling plan wif colleagues fr next week cancelled.
Boredom strikes...
Someone pls ask me out! School is starting
and this is th only time we are free to make use of durg weekdays.
can holiday extend few weeks more?
im jst nt ready... zzz.
PS: Miss my ayg alot.
Dun stress urself over work okayy?
Have plenty of rest.
Looking forward to see u soon... ♥

♥Hotcakes♥

2010-09-27T15:11:00.000+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

Idky bt im having back tt butterflies-in-my-tummy moment
when texting u n talking to u.
u make me feel like sumone special even tho u noe my probs
u still can accept me fr hu i am and willing to guide me thruout
im waiting fr u to prove ur love to me.
and i never wna feel like hw i feel previously whn im wif him
Been months since we know each other
bt only now thn we finally get into each other's books.
i wnt u to b my knight in shining armour
coz there's no other man tt caught my eye.
none other thn u... so hpe u wudnt betray this feeling
tt i feel fr u. and hpe to spend time wif u okayy my intan payong?? hehe

Finally Home

2010-09-21T20:46:00.002+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

Yesterday was a fun day!
First of all, i had a date with Amin in th afternoon
We went to watch Resident Evil: Th Afterlife.
Damn damn awesome! Bt most of th time
idk why i like feel so jumpy at
every of th sound effect. hha.
Then walk2 arnd wif him coz nthg to do.
And th rest of th gang dun wnt follow.
Then in th evening, mizan invited me to night cycling.
There were six of us.
Mizan, Me, Huat, Daryl, Habib, and Wei Lun.
Met up wif Mizan and Huat first at Mizan hse
arnd 6plus like tt.
Then made our way to ECP via straight bus
and met Wei Lun and Daryl along th way.
Then rchd there booked our bikes first (chehh)
Then eat our late dinner at McD while waiting fr Habib to arrive.
Evryone settled thn started our dk hw many KM ride
to Changi Village there.
Starting go was quite relax, enjoyable and very fun
Coz i was very2 excited abt cycling coz
so long nvr touch bicycle.
Then otw, saw sme disturbing scenes of plp making out
idk coz i nvr rlly see bt thy say th girl like half naked or smethg.
Then we rchd changi village,
played taiti, smoke n smoke, chat n chat
spin th bottle etc etc
then eat our supper at Mama shop.
Had plain and egg prata.
Then made our way back to ECP.
Otw back was damn torture.
Coz aft restg fr a few hrs, and we got back on th bike,
i can alr feel my butt bone like poking thru th skin
feeling damn pain. th rest also felt tt way.
imagine cycling back all th way. think like almost 2 hrs of cycle back.
since im th only girl and i think th weakest
i was at th back of th grp and sme alr speed up
i cnt even speed up and jst cycle like one miserable nyonya
lucky wei lun waited up for me
coz i alr scolded him tt if he leave me and went ahead
to catch up wif evryone i will cry. =/
bt i slowed him dwn coz rlly cnnt tahan.
smmre th place damn dark, scary and very quiet.
still gt dogs barking at us when we cycle past thm.
lucky thy nvr chase us.
coz i noe i cnt afford to cycle fast at tt moment.
thn finally rchd at 5plus and get bck tgthr wif th gang
made a pit stop n sme of us went to sleep
thn wake up arnd 7 plus and made our way to mcd fr breakfst
to cycle fr abt anther 15 mins to mcd oso cnnt tahan
coz thn my thigh feel like burning and cnt lift up properly
my butt dnt need say alr coz tt wan feel like
th bones gg to crumble anytme
mizan said like kena rape at th asshole lots of time. haha
wna sit also cnt sit properly.
had our breakfast, returned th bikes at 9 thn
went hme and rchd arnd 11 plus.
wah heaven sia whn i feel my bed, cmforter and fan.
freshen up thn went to sleep
wke up at 5 plus thn get ready to go back johor.
bt th pain still thre. suspect might tke a few days
thn cn really cure.
PS: sorry to tt person fr pangseh him on a date
sppose to meet on yest night if not today
but cndition totally cmi so hpe u understnd.
anws, im nt ready fr anythg frm u so dun b gg arnd
sulking and gettg sensitive whn im nt wif u.
peace...

Down

2010-09-20T11:22:00.002+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

One problem down, one more to go.
Exams, projects, reports, presentation all done.
Now left with my own personal problem.
Which idk if i can ever find a solution.
Coz time is running out.
And i jst cnt seem to open up my heart to anyone
Ive grown a phobia over guys who are trying to be helpful to me
Coz been thre once too many
Its either thy are trying to gain something out of it.
Or thy trying to decide my life fr me.
I think im trning into a les or smeth.
Coz i totally cant accept guys in my life fr now.
Or myb th time has nt yet cme. Hmm...

Nasi dah jadi bubur

2010-09-03T21:38:00.003+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

Im suddnly craving for mosque porridge. hha
Hari raya next week.
still gt few more things to buy.
bt dk when have th time to buy.
anws, reports, project, presentation due date is nxt week too
gna b a busy week. haiz.
so stress. furthermore nw im treating as if ntg hppend.
gotta chiong next week bfre wrrying abt my probs.
pity my frnd coz thy everytime like wna scold me
coz i nvr really do antg for fyp. sorry
u all sure regret to tke me in.
anws, im so called pissed off wif sme plp.
firstly gt this guy, who keeps telling th world hw much he miss me
bt in th first place, we never were tgthr.
stop dreaming k? jst cause u noe sme of my probs,
dsnt mean ure best friends wif me
or tt i wnt u to help me or anythg.
i jst damn hate it to noe tt ure still toking abt me
u sound like a horny pervert.
and dun try to deny it.
i noe u like to live in denial
bt dun try to drag me into ur live
too bad laa. u make me hate u this much.
shud b happy coz nw im gvg u attention at least.
tsk. u noe mariah carey song? obsessed?
please listen to it over n over.
yeah im a mean bitch. trust me.
and to this other guy, stop thinkg tt ure
oways ryte. why r u so damn ego siaa?
tell u my point of view, u cnt accept.
whtevr u think or say is oways ryte.
go take a deep scrub shower first
before insulting others or making fun
of others. think u so funny is it?
like to laugh at others bt udk tt plp are laughing at u
u stinko. and ure oso another horny pervert.
th things u do and ask and talk is oways abt pervertic stuff.
jst disgusted wif u n ur attitude...
to th person i wna lean on...
how can u stood me up?
not once, nt twice, nt thrice
bt evrytime im meeting u
hw can u oways stood me up for hours?
ive never stood u up
and oways on time jst to spend time wif u
gt one time u agree to meet at 5plus. i reached 5 plus
and u still hvnt reach at 640plus.
and i have to walk alone in th big shopping centre all
by myself. like an idiot
waiting for someone who loves to b late.
and in th end i waited fr ntg coz
i went home cnt b bother to wait anymre.
u even noe wht im gg thru
yet u got no pity fr others.
sooo dissapointed in u... =/
and to my chinese ex,
i still dnt understnd why u asking ur frnd to text me?
thn in th end u will txt me by urself.
thn keep on asking me out...
people reject u one time, still cme back
like boomerang.
reject two times, still come back.
three times until i scold u then quiet
then sddnly appear again. funny laa this plp
sorry laa if i sound like a bitch.
bt my blog my problem laa.
yeah so get away frm me k
all of u!...
bye cheebai!

Th Empress

2010-08-25T11:06:00.001+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

You are The Empress

Beauty, happiness, pleasure, success, luxury, dissipation.

The Empress is associated with Venus, the feminine planet, so it represents,
beauty, charm, pleasure, luxury, and delight. You may be good at home
decorating, art or anything to do with making things beautiful.

The Empress is a creator, be it creation of life, of romance, of art or business. While the Magician is the primal spark, the idea made real, and the High Priestess is the one who gives the idea a form, the Empress is the womb where it gestates and grows till it is ready to be born. This is why her symbol is Venus, goddess of beautiful things as well as love. Even so, the Empress is more Demeter, goddess of abundance, then sensual Venus. She is the giver of Earthly gifts, yet at the same time, she can, in anger withhold, as Demeter did when her daughter, Persephone, was kidnapped. In fury and grief, she kept the Earth barren till her child was returned to her.

Lost feeling

2010-08-23T01:35:00.003+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

Mosashiburi dane (been a long time hasnt it?)
Ryte now, im feeling damn stress.
School matters are just minor for me.
Th main problem lies inside me, around me
Th things tt scare me.
Th things tt i dun wna believe it to happen.
Th things tt i cant afford to do anything.
Th things tt always trouble some plp and family.
Th things where i cant speak my mind for wht im guilty of.
Th things where i cnt share wif my close friends and loved ones.
Th things tt bury deep inside me.
So, school matters and work matters are no problem.
Thy r th last thing tts on my mind.
Coz in my heart, ive given up hope.
all hope tt i wished to complete th time ive spent
wasting picking up on education.
if only i hadnt met my decision.
if only i hadnt met u.
none of these things wud b happening to me
is it fate? a bad luck tt swears its name upon me?
or is it coz im jst too naive and stupid to understnd
wht is important and wht is not?
why did i let this jst pass by as if it wun make a change in my life.?
in fact,becoz of this, im living in denial. im living in fear.
im living in pain having to torture myself physically and mentally.
i cant jst close my eyes and pretend ntg happened.
i cnt jst live in my average yet happy world before i met u.
now,evyrythg has changed.
im starting to lose hope, hair, weight over this.
im starting to think tt id jst go wif huever tt wna play wif my heart.
im starting to think tt my life in this world is wout meaning.
im starting to love my family more n not wanting to hurt them.
im starting to have a feeling tt nothing is worth living in my life.
im worthless, no use, good-for-nothing living being.
hw i wish i can believe in miracles.
but life is very harsh fr me.
especially wout anyone by my side.
thre r some who says tt thy care fr me.
bt wasnt there when i needed thm.
i cnt reach out to anyone.
i just wna end all this wout pain.
GOD please help me be strong, coz im weak.
if its my fate to keep hurtg people i love before me,
please take away my life peacefully.
i wish to make amends for th sins ive made
to GOD, my Mom, family, friends, plp who hate me,
plp tt ive made a bad impression of myself, to evryone i noe and dont noe.
i jst wish for all of it to end...
ps: why must u make me happy and sad at th same time?
to think tt ure making fun of two hearts.
wht dyu exactly wan?
to hear ur compliments twrds me
and u gving me hpes,
u saying u love me
trying to get closer to me
and when ive strted to fall fr u
and in th end, ure alr attached.
please wake up ifa.

Aloha

2010-08-05T19:42:00.002+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

Hey, been a long time since i update my blog.
Some friends have been pestering me to update.
hha. ade jugak orang nak bace blog aku yg tk seberape ni ehk. hha...
anw, nothing much has happened. just been busy with reports for fyp.
lucky some of my good friends are able to help me coz im damn blur.
thx hubby! hehe ^^
and i received love letter from madam mak saying tt she wants to
see me for another extra 6 months.
sia lah, lesbian sia she. =/
lucky still can appeal. bt tt depends too on my conduct.
hpefully i wun be so weak in health or any other part
so i can go to school most of th time and nt b late
tho im damn lazy to go sometimes.
got to tell myself, mind over matter.
cheh, gg school sounds like torture like tt.
Oh God, my english seems worse.
heck care la. anw, fasting month is arnd th corner.
must do more good. and b patiend with all th kukus around me.
idk y these days i oways feel pissed off wif plp
easily. like jst now, ibrahim go and slapped me hard on my back
coz thy were playing lame games which require to slap plp
and pass tt slap arnd. i wasnt playing wif thm
bt was talking to amin, faiz n khair, thn suddenly
kena slap, who wun b shock n angry
so i hit him back, and he hit me,
then i hit him bck and he hit me insisting i pass on th slap
to th nxt person, i ignore and cntinue talking.
thn aft few mins, he slapped me hard again,
i was damn pissed and shouted at him
din realise angry tears oso come out
malu sia... i scold all th vulgarities i think in my mind
and sddnly class was quiet. teacher nt arnd coz on break wad.
then sme laugh, sme keep quiet, sme like calm me dwn.
i find it rude when guys hit girls evn tho games or wad.
its like thy dun hve respect for girls.
told him off and aft awhile he apologised to me.
so we were bck to normal laa.
i oso shocked tt i shout so hard till my sore throat hurts.
till faruq stand outside class oso can hear. lols.
but lucky thing everything is over. and srry ibrahim fr saying vulgars to u.
lol. anw, i got a crush on this guy. hha
he's oh sooo cute! most of th malays tt im close with noe hu.
he's nt a person in school laa.
bt sadded, a crush will only b one sided.
jst so addicted to his smile... and his voice. lols
hope to noe him more. bt i dun expect anything laa.
and another note, my chinese ex have been finding
me at nyte for almost every single nyte.
and i think i got one time so evil, made him come all th way to yishun
at around 1 plus am almost 2 in th morn and in th end,
i pangseh him. smmre he live so far.
i actually saw him on his motor frm th window,
but idk y sddnly i like scared to see him. feel so bad.
but thn, evn aft tt, he still keep on finding me.
i tld him time and again tt i dun like him anymre,
and he scold me fr nt gvg him chnce. =/
basket sia. he dont get th point.
anws, hpe good news cme fast.
im getting more n more scared to find out th truth.
please dun let it happen to me. =[

Lethargic...

2010-06-23T18:00:00.002+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

Just woke up from sleep...
Feeling so tired and lazy...
Slept at 4 plus close to 5 yesterday.
Enjoyed th slumber party!!!
hha! then wake up early at 730 to go to school
for orientation. so early wake up.
went to new school.
like not badd leii. hha.
favourite part of school is th cafeteria!
so many choices of food to eat!
sommore nt so ex.
and right there and then at cafe mdm mak hve to gve bck our
test paper. duhh. wna enjoy food oso
cannot swallow properly. =/
then aft tt lepak awhile wif th malays
abt 20 mins then went home...
went back by train wif an and dd.
sddnly feel so sleepy and slept in train
while dd n an talking.
din realise tt when i sleep, i was leaning against a guy
on my right. then thy all so bad nvr wake me up
basket! i woke up to th snds of their voice
laughing at me. lucky i nvr rlly put my head
on his shoulders. lol. then th guy oso
nvr move. macam statue. lol
then got home, sleep again.
nvr evn chnge clothes. hha
woke up to th sound of heavy rain.
then sleep again. so syiok.....
PS: i miss my pretty boy... )=

Fear

2010-06-22T16:20:00.003+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

Haizz... My greatest phobia now... is to fall in LOVE...
And i hate it when guys told me thy love me
whn thy just noe me. Its all bullcrap.
Some of th things thy wud do is, in 3 steps:-
-make a girl's heart melt.
-use th girl like tissue.
-then dump them.
but lucky fr me, before thy get to tke advntage,
i cn guess their move. stupid and careless.
im so unlucky wif love... myb nt love.
jst th wrng type of guys. tsk...
well, hpefully time is on my side.
so i dnt hve to wrry abt stuff like this.
cncentrate on sch, wrk, and fam.
thn aft all settle dwn, thn cn chill. (=
Tt shud b th life.
Anws, tmr need to go CCK campus fr orientation.
Need to wake up in th mrning.
Jst when im used to waking up late...
ZZzzz...
Ps: I heard this frm a friend.
Girls give and forgive.
Guys get and forget.
I guess its true.
(=

Goshh

2010-06-21T23:16:00.002+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

Suddenly grew nervous fr no reason...
Myb coz of th many things tt happened in my life.
Haiz. Nothing happy yet has come...
Th one and only person ive depended on, totally cannot make it.
Haiz. Lucky it wasnt tt long. If it is cnferm hard to let go.
But hpe ure getting well n wun hate me k?
Thx fr all th treats and fetchg me on and off...
really do appreciate it.
anws, i hate my hair coz its like crap!
went to cut it like 3 weeks ago.
then like th hairstylist dinnoe wht i wanted actually.
then go and cut my hair concave then leave like th tail long.
so ugly. idk wht to do with it. it looks retarded.
nowadays been gaining appetite.
hha gotta stop snacking at nite!
my stomach gna b more boncet soon.
AND TO U! If ure nt gna do what is right,
then ull noe th consequences soon enough.
DONT worry coz im sooo OVER YOU.
So enough bullshitting about me DISTURBING u and
th GIRL U so call LOVE. Too bad udk whts happening arnd u
coz ure blinded in LOVE. Well, if it does works out. Good Luck!
U sure gna need it. Lol... go and control her if u want us to stop cntctg
coz its nt me hu txt her first. she's th one hu keeps updates wif me
about hw stupid u are. tsk tsk tsk... hha.
jst wait fr news kayy. (=

Bullcrap

2010-06-20T00:12:00.001+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

Jst when i started to open my heart again,
ive totally fallen fr th wrng guy.
And i tot other race is dffrnt.
But all r th same. Haiz.
Sianz...

Th truth about you.

2010-06-15T10:41:00.001+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

IDK wht had happened.
Bt suddenly plp hve been lookg fr me coz of u.
IDK wht u did. or say.
about me. and about her.
bt if plp looked down on u coz of it,
dun blame others bt urself.
smetimes, plp get wht thy deserved. (=
anws, now i hve a new love.
bt im nt sure if i can make it.
i do love him. but i cnt foresee and predict our rs.
hmm. is it because we r of diferent race n religion?
or is it coz its too soon?? idk myself.
hmm. Cinta kau! (=

Emmm

2010-06-13T01:17:00.002+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

Hols is here!
BUT no time to rest!
Work work and more work!
Aside tt, need to set aside time fr project.
Report still hvnt do.
500 pages of report.
and 8 presentation! sapa mau layan sak?
bt wht to do, still need to do.
Heard news tt my PUMA has finally given birth!
to 5 kittens! so now i gt 5 cats in total.
Wah kecoh sehh.
hhax. cnt wait to meet thm!
gna tke lots n lots of pix!
Woohhooo!
hhe. anws, idk if ure really serious abt me anot.
coz i really nt sure if it can last...
hmm...

Give up...

2010-06-10T20:38:00.002+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

Today is th last day of school till nxt term starts.
And today is prolly th last day i will step into Ite Dover.
Coz aft hols, will shift to CCK.
Lately, been feeling really restless.
Idk whts rlly gg thru my mind.
I cnt plan my next step.
Im jst lost even if th map is clear in frnt of me.
Evrything doesnt work out fr me.
IDK where else to run at times like this.
Haizz... Jst bored wif everything.
And ive heard tt my cat has given birth to 5 kittens.
Ive yet to see thm... i miss KenKen, Puma, Senget and Baby...

Tts wht u get...

2010-06-09T00:50:00.003+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

I js joined a group in facebook,
"Some bitches need to be slapped."
i agree tho. especially to this "princess" pfft.
hate me, resent me all u want.
i dnt owe u a living.
ure jst in ur own world hating plp.
u think plp like u is it?
well, think again.
ure no princess.
wake up.
anws,
to EX, pls move on.
i wna live in peace.
doncha wna live in peace?
stop th threats.
it aint gna work.
and stop lying.
whts ur motive fr lying?
n stop txting me abt wrk.
i noe hu to find if i hve appts.
dun wrry. i am SOOO over u.
Thank GOD ive opened my eyes.
lets jst sty as friends.
if we cn ever b one.
anws, we r more closer thn befre.
been a month knowing u.
and i definitely love ur cooking! hhax.
ive mde lotsa friends this past month.
it kills my loneliness.
smetimes strangers r more caring thn ur own frnds.
bt i oways heard this smewhere,
at th beginning, thy care,
coz thy oways cre fr a reason.
their own reasons.
hmm. im nt so sure whethr to believe.
bt i cnt trust others easily.
like th saying goes,
dun tke candy frm a stranger.
or is tt wht our mom always
warned us when we were kids?
hhax. i oso cnfusd. bt u get th point. ^.~

Happy Happy!

2010-06-08T00:54:00.002+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

I forgot wht its like to b single.
And im sure glad i am (=
No restrictions.
No jealousy.
No fights.
But tho a tad lonely.
Heyy! tts wht single plp do.
Mingle-ing wif frnds laa. wht else kann?
hhe, BUT dsnt mean im single im available.
lolx. as if plp care.
truth is, its been a longg time since im crushing on sumone.
nt literally. bt seriously fall into someone...
jst cnt stop thinkg of tt person.
wonder wht he thinks of me.
bt well, a crush is jst a crush.
im nt th type to go arnd cnfessing.
im nt desperate enough.
if its meant to b, thn it will b.
jst a heart warmer.
keeps me in a good mood.
anws, jst gt back frm th office.
went to work wif my prospect.
been soo long since i ride a bike.
hhax. and th 'EX' wna sound his hatred.
so what? im no longer yours...
u want it in th frst place.
there u have it in ur face.
tsk. grow up y dontcha.

I don't need a parachute...

2010-06-03T23:09:00.004+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

IDK im lyke so addicted to Cheryl Cole's Parachute.
Damn nice sia th song.
Myb th lyrics actually relates to me in a way.
No one noes.
Except me n u.
Hw i wish to speak up.
Tell th whole world.
How i really feel.
But ure not bothered at all.
U made me wept fr u every single day.
U filled my tots every single minute.
But i guess this is th decision u wanted.
For me to finally learn to let go.
Learn to forget.
Tho hw hard it is.
Tho hw i wept fr it.
Tho hw i cnt stop thinking abt it.
Its time...
I love u, i really do.
But things cnt go on this way.
Be happy. (=
PS: No one's gna catch me when i fall.

FUCK!

2010-05-31T00:37:00.001+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

FUCK sia! Something bad happened.
Mom found out smething.
And im in deep shit.
Haiz...

Haizzz

2010-05-29T11:04:00.003+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

Idk wht is gg thru ur mind.
n idk wht made u changed ur mind.
Y did u treat me like a toy?
Find me when u want.
Discard me when u dun want.
I believed every single promises uve made.
I was too naive and stupid.
Let this b a lesson uve taught me.
Someday, somebody else is gna teach
u a lesson too.
Coz i believe in karma.
My heart has been shattered to pieces.
>br>

Yummy

2010-05-28T00:03:00.001+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

Jst finished watched American Idol! Lee won!
bt i prefer it if crystal wins coz she gt a stronger
voice. bt nvrthless, Lee is American's idol. (=
n my idol too. hhe.
Anws, today, a 5 year old girl whom i jst noe fr
like 20 mins told me she likes me. lol
i asked her why, and she sed coz she nvr played wif me before.
lol. seriously like no link. hhax.
and she started holding my hands and molesting me in th car.
hha. molest as in lick me all over. but she damn cute sey.
frgot to take her pic. its my aunts friend's daughter btw. hha
and ur cooking skills is really good. thumbs up.
BUT please turn off th gas after u cook. haiyo
dangerous u noe. hha. kembang sangat
dgr org puji smpai lupe tutop api.
hhe. (=

Tired

2010-05-26T17:39:00.002+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

My younger brother has spent 3 days
in th hospital. He has a high fever.
Hopefully he cn go bck today. )=
Anws, not much to blog about.
Take care. (=

Sorry Sorry

2010-05-24T00:25:00.003+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

My younger brother has been admitted to th
hospital fr having a high fever.
I jst got back frm hospital n nw im hme alone.
Hpefully his fever cn subside.
Coz its been almost a month ever since he has it.
Anddd yest (sat) sheesha outing was thumbs up.
it'll b even more better wif our missing guild member. lolx
bt neverthless, ss till my throat wna come out.
hhax. today work was okae2.
went back early at 7pm. gerekkk. (=
n i damn love my new in charge.
very slack is one thing, secondly she's a anything
kinda person. like u want go buy smethg
even tho ure workg oso can.
go smoke break oso can.
and if i din go, she wud b liike pestering me
to go walk2 arnd to relax myself. hhax.
bt still, i have th mindset tt work is work.
cnt play too much oso.
and my second in chrge tday jst see me
thn frst thing tell me is who he like.
lolx! it is a girl frm another sport shop
which is my old sport shop bt diff outlet
and he din even noe th girl name.
i help him kaypo n found out th name fr him
and he was like repeating her name over n over.
hhax. dreamy guy. looks so much like my sec ex too.
n im in love with Super Junior! hhax (=

Days of my life...

2010-05-22T01:32:00.002+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

Hihi. Jst got back frm work.
Been a tiring day on my first day.
Bt neverthless, it was fun and crazy wif gossips. Lolx.
Anws yest (thursday) went to Navy Open House
wif practically th whole school.
Stick wif my special Spin-Bottle-Guild-Group. Lolx.
walked2 around fr th whole 2hours of freedom frm CA.
Dangg it was a hott day bt still been a fun and experience day.
Wished to get on th boat bt queue took like 45 mins to 1 hr plus.
Sapa mau layan? hha.
had fun gossiping in th bus about th bergerdil. lol
tmr is gna be an activity day.
gg shisha wif my good buddy n frnds. (=
cnt wait. been sucha long time since went shisha-ing.
n its been days since i last saw u.
wonder where'd u go.
hpe to chat again soon yepp (=
n ive been wanting ti cut my hair.
but idk wht style to cut.
stress abit... zzz
and i really do miss my fav girlfriend.
my one n only gf. hope we can hang arnd soon(=
take care peeps.

Oodles of laugh (=

2010-05-20T10:01:00.002+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

Yesterday after school was really something to rmmber.
Havent had tt much laugh in a longg time. (=
Thx to my good friends,
im no longer really crying over spilt milk.
Hpefully we have more get together session again (=
Thn aft tt went back home and u werent there.
cook me more burger please ~ (=

2010-05-19T11:14:00.001+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

Love is painful... It really hurts

Sick

2010-05-16T15:32:00.002+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

Having fever since th past two days.
Hpefully will subside tmr.
Anws, these past few days has been meaningful fr me too. (=
Idk why bt im feeling rlly restless at th sight of him.
Myb coz his friendliness twrds me. hhax.
Bt to b under one roof excites me more. (=
And to think of it, he has th same name as
th two guys tt once entered my heart.
Why must it b tt name.
Coz those two other guys r nthg bt
sweet talker mtfcker.
Well, hpefully he's different thn thm.
And my poor Puma is due to give birth anytime.
Been giving me suspense as to when
she's gna finally b a mommy...
Cnt wait. bt thn ill hve more thn 4 cats...
gosh... my house will b like cat hotel then.
lolx. all fr th sake of love. (=
and to you...
idk if its me, or if its you, or if its us,
but we'd grew more distant thn before.
no matter hw u look at it, its nt healthy.
no matter hw u say tt u love me,
if im nt in ur tots every single day,
thn tts not love.
coz love to u is only when u need me.
only when u want me.
only when u think of me.
not otherwise.
u nvr tot of my needs.
myb im being selfish.
myb im being paranoid.
bt y dun u look arnd u.
n look at other couples.
thy're nt like us at all.
thy're far frm us.
anws, i tke this opportunity to gve u time
fr ur job, and fr ur ns.
once evrythgs settled, n ure ready to love me wif all ur heart,
tell me. n ill b thre fr u like always.
and all th best to ur future. wish u th best of luck.
GODSPEED! (=

((=

2010-05-10T22:39:00.002+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

I noe its wrong.
But i cnt help liking it damn much. hhaaxx... =p
Tis is wht i call, guiltiest pleasures in life. zzz...
anws, today Gile make me LOL alott...
hhax. cnt stop laughing at his corny jokes.
and stop hitting me or pinching me will you?
im nt born to b ur punching bag. =p
tho it din hurt one bit. lol
bt thx fr th treat tho ((=
tho half of its wasted...
my badd... =p

Th End...

2010-05-05T21:04:00.003+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

Its been days after th big boom.
Hpefully ths time thre's no trng bck or threats.
Jst sick n tired of it.
Anws, i went out on a first date wif a guy i jst noe tdy.
Jst th frst date and he sed smethg tt puts me to tears.
I thanked him coz he treated me some stuff.
And he told me diz,
"Dun thank me. Th day when i vow upon our marriage,
right after i take u as my wife, will b day u can thank me.
Coz thn aft tt ill tke cre of u. (=
I swear tts th sweetest thing a guy ever said to me.
And he kept telling me hw much he loves me
over n over.
I noe it snds like sweet talkg to some,
bt i felt so touched by his sincerity evn tho
he noes i gt no feelings fr him.
Jst a friendly date tho. Nt being pushy or th sort.
N dun wrry, i wun frget u. (=
I jst wish tt th guy im in love wif nw,
cn feel th same twrds me.
Bt i noe it wun wrk out. hmm
jst wish nw tt my frst problem cn b settled asap.
And nw in class, i sddnly gt a new name.
Habibi n sum chinsed clssmtes calls me
Chen Li Fa fr idk wht reason. -.-
Halamak... hha! klah. bye cheebs!
PS: Wish i cn tell u hw much ily... haizz

ZZZZZZZZzzzz

2010-04-25T10:26:00.002+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

Weekends hve nvr been boring-er.
So free idk wht to do oso.
Bt been hvng strange dreams.
Idk wht thy stnd fr.
Bt its been a hectic ride.
Hmm...
Anws, rlly missed th mmts tgthr.
Bt sddnly uve disappeared.
or myb too bz wif ur new job.
bt still, im lookg frwrd to seeing u again.
Coz wif u arnd, im nt so lonely like nw.
Anws, hpe tt tmr cn wake up early.
N im strtg to like Winston. =x hhakz

Bored Bored Bored...

2010-04-23T22:09:00.002+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

Ive been skipping lots of classes fr th first two weeks of school.
Cnt help it. Wish i cud do smth abt it.
Hmm.
Hpe to b more focused in th future.
Especially wif lots of project otw.
Haizz...
Anws, sch is a bore wout seeing u in sch.
Jst feels so diffrnt.
ILY. (=
n sumone in class gt th same anniversary date as mine.
Hha! congratz to u!

Zzzz

2010-04-18T18:25:00.002+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

Weekends hve nver b any more mundane thn mine.
Well, aside tt, ive been keeping things positive.
No hard feelings. No regrets. (=
Jst tt suddnly plp have started to cnfess again.
Which is like dangg fast.
N seriously im nt interested.
Not tryg to jual mahal or wht.
Im not comfortable wif anyone like u.
Ur "westernized" thinking is too much fr me.
Id rather not go wif ur flow.
Thank you.

Urghhh

2010-04-16T22:54:00.002+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

Im surprised by how fast u wnt things to go fr us.
I jst hate pushy plp.
So not my COT...
Anws, its fer th best after all.
Hope ure happy.
I deserve to b treated better.
BYE cheebs...

Tsk...

2010-04-15T20:47:00.002+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

Things hve been looking mre stupid evry second.
Myb im stupid. Myb ure stupid.
Myb he's stupid. Myb she's stupid.
Well idk.
Jst feels tt situation has gotten tighter.
Like ive no place to escape.
Plp arent helping at all.
Im suffering in silence.
N im suffering alone.
Plus th fact tt opportunities r ryte in frnt of me.
Bt yet, i cnt bring myself to go thru wif it.
Haiz...
Hw i wish tt i cn rewind back.
N not make mistakes.
Well, its nt possible.
Whts done is done.
Damn

Ache all over...

2010-04-14T21:17:00.003+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

Jst got back frm school and outing.
Body ache all over.
Especially my leg...
I HATE MY NEW TEACHER!
Gosh! Seriously he's like asking fr a slap in his face.
Treat us like primary sch kids sia.
Made me stand in class jst coz i wear jeans. duhh
I noe most dun like him too. Hhakz... Jom kawan2. =p
Anws, after tt a friend cnt make it fr appt.
Coz she's unwell.
Wish her th best of health. (=
So din went to work tdy.
Thn lepak wif my frnds.
While lepaking n eating at this void deck,
suddenly this Pakcik wif songkok came down to scold us.
Coz one of my frnd was longboardg thre.
BUT, he's nt making any noise.
Coz he jst skate here n thre.
Not even tryg to do stunts tts noisy.
Me n other frnd was eating in silent.
Thn th Pakcik scold my frnd upside dwn.
While me n th other frnd were eating.
We jst ate quietly.
Thn suddenly th pakcik took our photos while eating.
Damn sia!
He sed he want to report police coz we were making noise
n he cnt sleep n he have a night job driving taxi.
Sumpah tk tnya die keje ape sak.
On top of tt, he sed he gt a baby n we r dsturbg th bby.
Thn i scold him lah.
I said why he took my photo while im eating.
I din do anythg wht. jst eating perh sia.
thn he sed u oso sit here n never advice ur frnd not to skate.
Like WTF?
Thn he called police in frnt of us.
Exaggerating th situation.
He make it sound like thres 3 plp skating.
And we were arguing wif him coz he took our photo.
THn aft tt, he keep on scolding us non stop
while me n frnds jst keep quiet only.
malas nk layan.
thn his wife came down
and tried to calm her husband dwn
thn i said terbegik sak nak makan.
plp like tt, skali tegur dah lah.
really irks me sia.
so aft we done eating, we make our way home lah.
thn he sed, asal nk pegi?
gentlemen lah sikit tgu police dtg.
asal takot ker?
thn one of my frnd say suke hati ah. hha
thn bfre i leave, i apologised to his wife.
saying srry for disturbing.
thn th pakcik keep on scoldg us.
shouting at th top of his lungs.
frm wht i see, its him creating nuisance.
tsk. irrit sak...
i gt th right to sue him fr taking my photo
coz i din do anythg wrong.
was jst tryg to find a place to makan.
sheesh!
thn aft tt, dno where to go,
so me n my frnd went to ct hall.
tot wna lepak thre.
bt at last we walk2 so far.
hha. first time went to spore flyer.
bt din ride it lah.
jst chill down thre n at th same time lookg fr part time.
hhakz. sempat ehk. =p
thn now back home.
wif aching legs...
zzz

Out of Hand

2010-04-13T21:46:00.002+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

Sometimes i feel like im only loved
when u need me.
Sometimes i feel like im only appreciated
when u gt no one else.
Sometimes i feel like im being used
when ure bored n lonely.
Sometimes u just dnt noe hw i really feel.
Tts coz u dun bother to wna noe.
U only think of ur own probs.
Wout thinkg tt i hve far worse probs thn urs.
Its nt tt i dun wna help.
Ive gt far more difficult probs tts no one can help me with myself.
N im nt expectg a favour back for a favour given.
Dun always look at th good side of th deal.
Do focus on th bad side too.
Myb goodness do come.
Bt it wun last.
Trust me.
I jst dun wnt things to get worser thn before.
Im sorry if u think im no use.
Well, wht abt u?
Figure It Out.
Anws, hpefully thre r no more distractns fr keepg
me frm sch.
Jst th first week n ive been busyg myself wif job.
Hpe to meet sme new plp too. (=

Weird

2010-04-11T00:22:00.002+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

Had a weird dream before i woke up.
Dreamt tt i went to stay at someone's place.
And there were like six of us.
Cnt rmmber who it was in tt dream.
Bt frm my feeling, its nt anyone i knew in real life.
Thn we went shopping.
Seems like i totally had a new life staying wif my frnd.
Guess like more freedom.
And while we were happily shopping,
suddenly smething heavy dropped frm th top storey.
Realised it was a security guard on duty.
Seems like he committed suicide.
And we were all so scared.
Weird thing is, thy din call ambulance.
And two pakcik wif songkok,
carried tt dead Security guard,
up an escalator.
And dropped th body lots of time.
And me, at tt point of time, in th dream,
had trauma. n keep on playing tt scene
over n over.
Till now,
even still when im awake.
Weird ryte.
Hmmm...
N to my bby,
hpe u get to th doctor fast.
Pls dun let work n ciggs destroy ur health dear.
Haix. N sorry ive been saying stupid things.
Jst too stress.
ILY...

Confused

2010-04-10T11:26:00.002+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

Smetimes im confused wif myself.
It seems a lot of better opportunites seems to b opening
up to me.
But still, i cnt bring myself to even cnsider abt it.
Tho hw attractive it snds.
Bt im nt aft it. Tho i need it badly.
Really puts me to a spot.
Especially when th one ive depended on,
hasnt been able to look at me wif th same set of eyes.
Jst as hw we first met.
Rlly dissapointing.
I tried gvg my 100% in everythg.
Bt ive failed.
School starts in two days.
N im soo nt ready to return.
Well, we see hw everythg goes.
Haiz... TC my prettys...

Evrybody's changing

2010-04-08T13:43:00.001+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

Not th same anymore.
Evrything seems to b in a rush.
I hate to dissapoint my mom.
Hope tt we cn remain this close.
(=
I love my mom.
hhe.
And nt sure tmr wna go Marina Barrage wif thm anot.
See hw things goes...
Smile my prettys!

IM SO SORRY!

2010-04-06T09:39:00.002+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

First n foremost, id like to apologise to ths frnd,
coz he helped me find a job and at last,
i paitao him...
Im so sorry... hpe evryg goes well on ur new job. (=
And to my bf,
if ure still mad at me, i can undrstnd u.
coz id b mad at u too, if smethg similar happened to me.
I jst dk hw to gain bck ur trust.
Jst hpe u make th ryte dcisions...
Smetimes, being greedy is nt healthy.
It jst shows hw i cnnt handle things.
GOSH...

Hmm...

2010-04-05T23:36:00.003+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

R u testing my patience?
Coz its running out soon...
Im still harping on tt last hope frm u.
IDKY.
Anws,
i got another job on my hand.(=
Thx to a new friend. hhe.
Jst hope to juggle my two part-time jobs and school.
Yeah! tts hw much i wna earn. LOLS
And been making lotsa friends along th way.
Tho i miss my besties. hhe.
n to my boyfie, hpe u wun b so bz
coz i feel so neglected...
bt i do understnd coz ure busy.
bt hey! continue to do ur best!
and ill do my best frm my side too yeap.
and im so nervous tmr!
wish i cn mke mre friends.
im so shy. hha
geram jek dengar. =p
PS: U sed u love me, bt ure nt here
U sed u miss me, bt u werent there.
ILY n IMYT... tho im still waitng...
Ill always be here fr u my dear. (=
Hpe u oways think of me like i think of u.
N do tc of ur health.
Dun drain ureself out.
Peace out!

Haizzz...

2010-04-05T10:51:00.002+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

This week is th last week of th holidays.
Hw time travels fast.
N yet im only starting to enjoy it.
Yesterday was a big dissapointment to me.
Haiz.
Bt still,
tt spark of hope,
tt flicker of light in my heart,
encourages me to believe.
SO YEAH!
im gna believe still.
Keep believing.
Anws, its been ages since i last watch a movie!
Wow! Wonder whn can i hve th time to watch?
Since nw busy wif work n stuff.
Movies anyone??

Ummm

2010-04-04T01:49:00.002+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

Ummm....
Different thn hw it use to be.
Tt's hw i wud describe it.

Breaking relationships apart

2010-03-30T22:46:00.004+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

Never have i met someone
as cold-hearted as u.
Wht's ur motive?
R u happy now tt ur life
is as miserable as hell?
R u happy uve ruined th life
of someone important to me?
R u happy tt ure making
small matters big?
R u happy tt ure pushing
all th blame on me?
Well, wht can i say.
I believe in Karma.
Wht goes around,
Comes back around.
If u can treat me like shit,
even if i dun wna treat u like one,
even tho like hell! u look like one,
other plp will treat u far worse thn me.
Believe me.
I may nt b th one to repay
ur arrogant hypocrite attitude.
Im sure GOD is seeing ur actions.
Coz uve break families apart.
Uve twist stories and bad-mouth
someone hu really cares fr u.
While pretending to care fr him too.
Damn u!
Hope u mend ur ways.
Tsk...

On another note,
Today,
Bad news and/or rather bad incidents
had to happened.
First is finding out smething risky
tt cnt b avoided,
Second is fyting wif
th 2 headed-snake frm above,
Third is a cousin,
hu's close in blood,
but far in relations,
had jst passed away due to an incident.
News story about him
appeared in Berita Harian on
Saturday 27th March.
Th incident was tt he was playing
soccer wif sme frnds.
And ball fell into a river.
So he went to tke th ball.
And managed to get it.
But he slipped and fell into th river.
He lost his life by drowning in.
Since he cant swim.
Body was found two days later.
And saddened th family.
Coz he's th youngest of th family.
And only at 19 years of age.
Hpe his family is able to
take his death well.
Wish thm a heartfelt condolescence.
Wish we were closer Allahyarham Hasif.
=[

Eat Eat Eat!

2010-03-27T21:58:00.002+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

Holidays hd been ntg but munch munch munch.
Been eating a lot.
Lucky im nt one to easily put on weight.
Haahs.
Anws, i rlly love my cutie babyyy!
He's sooo adorable. And so damn innocent!
Ive never met such cute kitten such as Baby!
Will upload his photo soon.
Mom insist tt he's a she.
hhakz
Anws, i wonder if ive been had.
Coz smetimes, my weakness is trustg plp easily.
Hence im abit gullible.
Well, wht to do.
Ill jst stop hoping fr once.
Ntg good will come out of it.
Jst bring heartaches n hurts...
Well peeps, HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
*HUGS*

Tired.

2010-03-26T22:14:00.002+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

Jst got back frm th Jobfair at Suntec.
Going thru job applications and waiting fr results
sure is a hassle.
Y cnt thy jst analyse and interview u
at th spot and gve th answer right there.
Its like waiting fr nothing sia.
Anws, went wif Amin, Khai n Vivin (nt sure if spell th name ryte)
hhakz
And mybe nxt week gt interview again.
GOSH
Interview jek, tpi keje nye tk dpt2.
Sway sak gnie.
Buang duit tmbng jek. Nasib concession.
Hhakzz..
Anws, hurt and dissapointment...
is like a stab in th back.
It came so sudden.
And unexpected.
Dun wna raise my hopes again n again.
Well. Tke cre folks.

First

2010-03-25T17:59:00.002+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

Suddenly, u rmndd me of my first kiss.
Gosh.
After so mny years.
Shud frget abt it now.
Please move on.
Anws, am soo hoping to b hired soon.
ZZZzz
PS: ILYSM my boyfriend!

Peek-a-boo!

2010-03-25T03:34:00.002+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

Went for Job interview wif Amin.
Befre tt met up 5 mins wif bucuk in th train.
Even tho its 5 mins, still so happy to cu.
Met Amin in cck, and took bus to Harbourfront.
Coz interview is at there.
Went fr two interviews.
Hpefully cn get seh.
Coz im so damn bored n broke styg home.
anws, im srry mom for blurting out those werds to u.
I dun mean wht i say.
Coz i love u coz u took cre of me since young.
U nvr let me go hungry.
U bought my clthes fr me.
U gve me shelter.
U mean evrything to me.
ILY IBU!
And to Bucuk...
Im srry fr th promises ive made
Im srry fr th promises ive break
Im srry i cnt keep to my promise.
Tho hw hard i want to.
Idk y im so stubborn.
Anws, hpe to c u again soon syg.
Coz IMYSM! ILY!

Awwww

2010-03-23T23:11:00.002+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

I found a new kitten at my carpark!
He is sooo cute!
I called him baby.
Bt mom still finding a name fr him.
He's sooo small and soo cute!
Gt th most innocent eyes!
Hhakz!
Anws, gna go job hunting again tmr.
Hpefully smething good comes out of it.
(=

Happy 10 mths...

2010-03-21T16:57:00.002+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

Its been 10 mths alr. wif u.
but r we both happy plp?
i noe u r.
coz uve gt ur friends by ur side.
n u njy their company mre.
thx fer loving me tho.
coz tts th only feeling ur friend myte nt get frm u.
really honoured to feel loved...
SAdd tt we cnt meet up to njoy each otehr cmpany.
haiz. u dunno hw much ive missed u.
yet u oways think of me as sumone bad.
haiz...
ILY b...

Tearing me apart...

2010-03-21T04:24:00.003+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

It has been a rlly moody time fr me ever since i fot wif my mom.
Smetimes, she dsnt understnd me at all.
I noe ive sinned alot,
but th way hw she handles things mkes me stray further aaway.
GOSH. i jst dunno hu else to shed my tears on...
Lucky sme of my friends do understnd me.
Nvr ending support to make truce wif my mom.
Im trying my best.
Jst hope i dun gve up halfway...
Thx. (=
PS: Im srry mom fer hurting u...
Tho i tried not to.
Emotions jst swells up.
I love u.
PPS: Hope u can be more open twrds me dear.
I noe im nt there evrydy fr u.
But jst so u noe, i care a lot abt u.
ILY bucuk~

Plaster over th wound.

2010-03-18T21:36:00.002+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

On 17th of March was th day of our patch up.
I noe most of my friends will think im crazy
to break n patch n break n patch.
hhas.
But honestly, my heart is soo fond of my Bucuk
tt i cnt bear to rlly leave him jst like tt.
No matter hw often we fyte,
no matter hw abusive wrds cn get,
no matter hw anger grows
tt hatred were spat at one another,
i cnt frget u.
ure always in my mind.
when we broke up,
i find reasons to fill u up in my mind.
tryg hard to mke u mad at me.
tryg hard to bother u.
tryg hard to hate u.
but all tt are in vain.
i cnt seem to really feel th hatred fr u.
ive been thinkg abt u day n night.
and am soo happy tt u r deeply in love wif me too.
jst like hw i am.
Look bby, no matter hw paranoid i am,
no matter hw irritating i am,
no matter hw jealous i am of u,
pls do noe tt i did all tt to make u think of me.
to make u see my love.
coz if u dun see it, i guess loving dsnt hve its meaning to me.
and ive sed this bfre too.
no matter hw many guys my eyes see,
rmmber this,
my heart sees only u dear.
ill try to change for myself,
for my family,
for u,
and for us.
hope u cn change too.
ILY n will always do... mwahhh

Th day is here...

2010-03-14T02:58:00.002+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

On March 13th, was th day of our break up.
Gosh, n its 8 days to our 10 months.
Reason bhind i guess better nt say it.
But i wish u th best success in life.
And ill oways think of our rs as a lesson to b learn.
Thx fr all th love uve showered me wif.
N thx fr all th patience u put up wif...
Ill nvr frget u.
But life has to move on. N im srry to bother u all this while.
Tc Lost Love.
Ifa has lost her Prince Zac.
The End...

Shards of broken heart

2010-03-12T22:18:00.003+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

Learn to play th guitar today.
Tho jst learn a few chords, th idea is there.
hhe thx to Bucuk.
And GOD hw bored it is when ure jobless durg th holidays.
No job to earn money. Arghh!
Im broke!
And alot of time wil b wasted.
Again n again.
Bt, myb its my fate.
Haiz.
Things hve bcme wee bit complicated.
But, time to enjoy cmes first.
Ill try not to waste evry second of my life.
Esp fr smthg or smeone worthless.
Anws, gtg. chat later peeps. bubbye! *hugs
PS: Hpe u wun need to go KL...
Coz ill b all lonely again.
ILY bby...

Baby...

2010-03-10T23:38:00.002+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

Lazy to blog.
Bt myb jst a few words. Or sentences.
Hope tt we'll b able to stick wif our promises.
I know tt smetimes we tend to make mistakes, repeat it
by accident, or intentionally.
Myb to spite me. or u.
But nvrthless,
Im rlly tired of repeating th same thing over n over.
Dont u?
So i really hope tt we'll be able
to forgive n forget.
let bygones b bygones.
and let th love come to us.
I promise to love u wif all my heart.
Like i oways did.
n hope u do me too...
n we'll b able to live happily ever after tgthr
kz dear?
And to this certain sum1,
idk y ure still harping on th hope
tt ill talk to u.
Jst coz u apologize, dsnt mean anythg to me.
If sumone behaves immature to me, ill behave like one myself.
Im nt gna b Miss Goody fr u.
Coz im not n never will.
At least tts wht i think.
So plp wun find my hypocritical.
Idk wht im blabbing nw.
Bye. ILY bby...

ITs a happy Happy happy Day...

2010-03-01T23:25:00.002+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

Ure so different today.
R u okay?
Hope u r...
I noe ure nt well
Bt pls dun let it b.
Coz i care abt u...

Crying in my heart...

2010-02-28T08:24:00.003+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

Im soo dissapointed...
I gt no one else.
This is ur freedom.
Be happy wif it.
Coz i cnt take cre of u any longer.
Be free like a butterfly.
Hope u find ur happiness one day.

Nightmare

2010-02-28T01:47:00.003+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

Been having lots of problems lately.
n TQ to my friends hu stick by me.
And especially to my sayang hu never stop giving me support.
Cheyy. like giving speech. hhakz...
And tdy been thru alot of probs. only
sme close friends and my sayang noes.
Th day started with me waking up frm a nightmare.
Mind u, its nt th horror clips or any weird stuff
tht cmes out of it.
ITs abt MY LOVE LIFE...
Y m i hving these dream?
ITs abt my Bucuk cheating on me.
If tht isnt a nightmare, idk wht else is.
He's fallen for a pretty girl.
And sang praises abt her to me.
Confess his feelings fr her to me.
N above all, hope im a good sport and let him b free.
Gosh.
I was so furious coz it seems like he dun cre abt me.
Like he nvr cre abt me at all.
Aft all those promises.
And i shamed him in frnt of many.
I wasnt happy fr him.
He was frustrated.
I fought wif both him n th girl.
I lost big time.
I mean, i cnt get in th way of two hearts.
In th end, in tht dream, he broke up with tht girl.
COz she's not wht he expected.
N wanted to get bck to me.
But im alr attached, wif smeone else.
ANd it gt me waking up really sad.
And wishing tht th only dream i wudnt wnt to cme true,
is this.
Coz i rlly love him.
Hope ure alright dear. ILY, IMY. TC

Happy 9 Monthsary syg!

2010-02-22T15:29:00.002+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

Happy 9 Months to us!
ILY!

Happy Valentine!

2010-02-15T19:25:00.004+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

Yesterday was my first Valentine ive spent wif my bby.
it was th most memorable Valentine ive evr had...
First, spent it just hanging out wif syg and exchngg gifts.
IDK wht to get him so just bot him a t-shirt.
He got me Tiger (Winnie th Pooh), A stalk of Rose, A Handwritten Note,
Cadbury Chocs and Skittles!
Chey... like CNY hamper... lols...
But Thanks syg! I really love it!
i was ekcli waiting for Ang Pao frm him, but alas, he din give. hha. jkjk.
Then Reiqal joined us lepak arnd UT wif his guitar and evrythg...
Fr awhile abit mendak. no offence. =p
Thn arnd 5 plus abang called to ask us to join thm hang arnd Pasir ris.
So me, cyg, and Reiqal, reached Pasir Ris arnd 730.
We went makan then mit up wif my family.
There r Abang, abg gf Ijah, Busu, Kak wati n family.
So intro2 arnd and then we went to ECP and slack.
Play taiti and some magic with cards. Duhh.
My bro is a lame magician.
Then th boys played timbang with th volleyball.
And last we had ghost-story telling time.
I swear it was th most fun, scary n xciting.
Slacked at ECP till arnd 230 am then all headed to Cuz's house to sleep.
Coz most too scared to go bck.
Now im so tired alrs... Still hvnt get proper sleep since then.
But eyes still wide awake. IDK y... Hmm...
And now abit dissapointed wif u.
Coz found out smethg which really pains my heart.
Even tho u sed its just a joke.
Im really sad fr th way u act.
Please be someone which i can trust.
Thts all folks.

Mundane

2010-01-21T10:12:00.002+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

Evryday is a boring day.Same old same old.Except yesterday.Some creep apologized to me.Coz his elbow hit me in th packed bus.And in th end, th creep took advantage of th situation.He sed, " I tak gatal eh. Cume nak make friends jek."And passed me his number.Out of courtesy, i keyed in.But out of disgust, i deleted.Tsk.Seems tht his preaching is different thn his actions.Coz wanted to treat me to drinks n stuff.Which i declined.I had to entertain,coz he was walking my way.GOD noes wht might happen.If i shove him off my shoulders.Coz its never a safe place.Anws, Happy 8 months to us.(=Try not to fight.Trying.

9th of January

2010-01-10T02:14:00.002+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

9th of January, marks a very sad day for me...
This day, is th day tht me and my bf went separate ways.
Myb i was too selfish...
To greedy...
Idk wht i did...
And idk y i sed all those things to u.
Idk wy i cnt understnd u.
And idk why im nt there fr u when u need me...
But dear, deep in my heart.
I care fr u...
I nvr wnt bad things happen to u.
Hope tht ure alright...
Il always b here.
Coz i cnt bear to lose th memories wif u.
I wna sit bck n relax wif u, and laugh at th times we fot like this tgthr.
ILY... But i cant own u... TC Love... Hpe ure always happy.
Ill always love u...

PS: You told me tht if im th Moon, u wudnt wna see another sunlight again.
You told me tht if im th sea, u wna b th island so tht i cn engulf u in me...
but ALL MEN R TH SAME!
PPS: Dun wrry, im nt tht crazy like KOKO... (inside joke)

Grr!

2010-01-05T20:39:00.002+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

Omg!
I really hate those people!
Grr!
Thinking bck makes me soo mad...
And also mad at myself.
Coz i cnt do anythg to defend myself.
Hmm.
It started when i was omw bck in th bus.
Th bus was quite empty.
Except fr th driver and 2 other passengers.
Bus was at bus bay waiting fr passengers.
I got on and sat in th middle of th bus.
Suddenly, 3 guys came in.
Two of thm paid th driver.
And one was sitting across frm me.
He sed hi.
I ignored.
He sed hi again.
Louder this time.
I looked at him.
He smiled.
And i rolled my eyes.
Then he laugh2 like an idiot.
Thn th two friends walked in and saw me.
One of thm suddenly sat beside me.
Wahlao... Freaking irritating.
He sat, thn asked, can i sit here?
I jst ignored and looked straight.
Both of his friends laughed.
Then went to th back of th bus.
But th friend tht sat nxt to me, still remained seated.
I remain calm.
Coz he din do anythg.
Thn he started asking me,
"where u going?"
i ignored.
repeat question and sat so close to me.
I ignored and move away.
He then talked to his friends.
And thy laugh oh so idiotically.
Freaking pests!
Kept on looking at me.
And trying to move closer.
I then gve him a stare.
Stare hard on his eyes.
And he jst kep smiling.
While me staring and frowning.
Was about 40 mins he sat next to me.
Coz stupid traffic jammed.
And after tht suddenly went to th back of th bus
and sat wif his friends.
Thy laughed so loud.
Thinking thy're so cool and funny.
Fuck thm uhh.
Heard thm saying she's scared.
Grrr!
Then abt 10 mins later, thy got dwn.
I looked at th window.
And th one tht sat next to me,
still had th cheek to wave me goodbye.
Kept on waving like a damn lunatic.
If i'd been so bad,
i'd give him th middle finger.
Public annoyance.
Fuck thm.
But its a lucky thing thy never tried anything funny.
Coz in my mind at tht point of time,
All i tot was rape, and murder.
Coz earlier in school,
read a book abt Mad Murderers...
Abit freaked out.
Hmm...

Back to school.

2010-01-04T20:55:00.003+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

School's here!
And ive not yet njyd my holiday to th fullest!
Still hve my holiday mood...
Hha!
Lucky th date due fr project is postponed.
Coz mine is still under construction.
Gosh.
Hpefully it cn werk soon.
Few days back spent th day with my buddies.
Spent it with Faiz, Amin n Wan.
Thy help me a little wif my project.
Amidst tht, played longboard and skateboard.
N camwhored too...
HHa.
And wht luck to miss th ferst day of school.
Bummer...

End of th year. Start of a new day.

2010-01-02T01:03:00.005+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

First and Foremost,
Happy New Year 2010! to All of my friends out there.
Hpe uve had a wonderful time in th past year.
Be it bad or good,
surely there wud b times when u learned sth frm sumone
or even frm ur own doings.
Hope 2010 will bring mre good in ur lifes. Amin.
(=
And secondly to my dearest,
i noe tht for th times uve been wif me,
th times when 'US' existed,
those times,
where there r happiness and love,
there are also bound to hve pain and hurting.
Hw much tears we've shed.
Hw much pain we've beared.
These are th times we shudnt look back at
Times tht we shudnt repeat tht.
Tho its hard,
we shudnt gve up.
And learn frm th past. (=

Anws, i getta spend my
last day of th year 2009
and th first day of th year 2010,
with my Bucuk!
Its my first ever time went to a countdwn
with my LOVE~
This is hw we spend it.
First of all, Bucuk surprised me with a gift.
His sis were th one hu passed th gift to me.
Bucuk pretended it was his thing tht
he've forgotten to bring along.
And asked me to get it for him.
Instead it was a surprise to me
I got a handphone pouch
frm CROCS and it is soo cute!
I really love it~
Thx bby for buying it fr me.
HHa. nw we jiwa arl. (=
Next, we mit at EXPO coz Bucuk haf werk on 31.12.09
We mit arnd 10pm and make our way to th city.
There were
Sheqal, SyaSya, Anafi,
Reqal, Afiq and bby Bucuk.
We had our Countdown at City Hall padang there.
Lucky us we get a nice spot to sit
and nice view to watch th fireworks.
And th fireworks were damn amazing.
Tho its abit short,
tht we came all th way jst to see,
its still leaves a memory to me.
Coz its th first fireworks tht i watched with my bby,
(=
Then we make our way to Clarke Quay to chill
and people were all
jammed pack evrywhere.
There were alot of drunkards
hu cnt hold their liquer
and vomit their hearts away.
I swear its th most disgusting
and retarded thing ive ever seen.
Coz there were puke like evrywhere.
Gross ryte? Urgh~
We stayed on till arnd 130am and
evryone except me and Bucuk went off to
catch th last train which departs at 200am at CT hall.
Me and Bucuk stayed on coz we were waiting for my cuzin
coz we were going bck tgthr.
While waitng, we walked2 and had our little adventure
We got lost and travelled a longg distance
till our knees abt to pop off.
Hha. But neverthless, its still fun
but a bit silly coz we were aimlessly walking arnd.
We even get to see a free show in front of us.
Hha!
Finally met up with Cuzin and tried to catch a cab home
But alas, taxis r hard to get at times like tht.
So we waited a longgg while and in th end
decided to catch th first train back.
No choice luh.
Me, Cuzin n Bucuk went bck tgthr
while Cuzin's friends split ways with us.
And when reached home,
it was like a piece of Heaven to fall flat on th bed and knockout.
Thn,
wake up arnd 12 plus and got ready
and spend another day with Bucuk.
Hope ur fever is okay dear.
And hope tht evrythg will be alright fr u and fr us.
ILY...

Happy 7 Months to Us!

2009-12-21T00:03:00.002+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥
Kejam celik kejam celik
daaaa tujuh bulan dah syg...
How time flies...
Sometimes when we r together alone,
how i wish i cud freeze th time
so tht th beautiful moments with u never passed by...
it jst stayed on...
(=
I jst hope tht our love never dies.
Coz i jst cnt feel alive wout u...
I LOVE YOU BUCUK!

Holiday is here!

2009-12-15T20:45:00.002+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

Just th second day of th Holiday
and ive never felt so boredd...
And yet have to withstand for 3 whole weeks.
Urghhh...
Lucky i have a part-time job to
kill th time and earn some bux.
Had some wonderful time spent wif my bby...
Relax k syg... My eyes are only fr u...
ILY n hope u LMT... X*
and also had some fun time spent wif my good buddies too
Thx to them and my syg my days are filled wif laughter and memories.

Three words...

2009-12-11T17:49:00.000+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

I LOVE YOU!

Let it end...

2009-12-03T21:52:00.002+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

When will it stop?
Is it me? Is it u?
What is it?
Tht makes us like so?
There's never ending to it.
Why must th feelings make us like this?
Is this a challenge for us?
Why does th heart controls our emotions?
Can we overcome it?
Are we up for th challenge again?
Can we win?
Or will there be a bitter end?

Insecure

2009-12-01T21:17:00.002+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

Tdy i received an award! I noe it seems like so what?
But its my first official award i have ever
receive for my hard work.
Im so happy! hhe
Pity my mom cudnt cum to see me,
Coz i'd really like for her to see me achieve smething.
Even if its not much.
N i really hope to maintain th results coz i dun
want my cming bck to school to b a wasteful journey.
Pray tht i can overcme any hardships tht might cme my way.
Insyallah. Amin

IDK

2009-11-30T17:25:00.001+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

I hate my life
Ive no one...

One after th other

2009-11-27T20:45:00.005+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

(Cute seyh u, hhe)

First of all, Wishing all Muslims
Selamat Hari Raya Haji!
And also wud like to apologise to Bucuk for hurting him.
Sheesh. All i ever did is to hurt him.
Idk whts wrng with me bby... PMS kot? aha...
And im srry abt ur hand too.
Coz its coz of me u hurt it. )=
Im really useless... Haizz...
I really2 hope i can hve more confidence in myself.
So tht i can take good care of ur heart and feelings.
Coz i noe my feelings and brains dun match.
Coz wht i think is right for u,
is different thn wht i feel n want frm u.

PS: I really really love u lots.
I hope u still have th patience and care for me.
And i hope u can tolerate my attitude...
Thx bby for always being there fr me... (=

Crying in th rain together...

2009-11-24T22:19:00.003+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

Sometimes people make mistakes.
Mistakes tht we intended.
Mistakes tht r incidental.
Mistakes tht we tot wud b for th gud for evryone.
All these mistakes are regretful.
Thts why its called mistakes.
So from these mistakes,
we shud all grow from it.
Learn from it.
Never repeat it.
Take it as a guidance to b sum1 better in life.
And i know i did so many mistakes in th past.
Evryone did too.
And so did u.
I just hope tht all these open our eyes.
To see hu really loves us.
And hu really dun.

Dearest Boyfriend,

Im so relieved to hear evrything out frm u.
At th same time, im most deeply affected by it.
Just pray tht it will b th last time anything like tht happens.
And i hope u can forgive me for wht i did too.
Coz i wasnt really thinking with my heart.
Just following my mind.
Thinking wht i think is right when its wrng.
Let's forgive n forget n not repeat kz?

Yours Truly,

Girlfriend

Happy 6 months

2009-11-21T17:42:00.002+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

ITs been arl half a year.
Its nt something to wow on.
Coz we still hve a loongg way to go.
Just pray to GOD tht we can last as long as we're alive.
ILY...

Finally...

2009-11-17T21:29:00.002+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

A few days have passed since th kecohness in my life went by.
Thanks to this hypocrite creature in my life tht ive learned to open my eyes...
Im seriously shocked at th lies or stories she has created about me.
goshh... why cnt she jst mind her non-important business.
why cnt she b more civilised and realised her position in my life.
im seriously disgusted with her attitude and
i pity th one i love to live with her.
i shan't mention hu's tht two-headed snake here.
Only GOD and my family and bucuk noes hu she is...
But i also need to sorta thank her tht its coz of her, Bucuk finally met my family.
Tho in a rather awkward situation way, thy did finally get to meet,
talk and noe each other.
We even jalan2 around town tghtr.
Thanks to my abang hu make it happen.
And thnx to him too my bucuk had to
entertain his nonsense non-stop. hha
And im veryy happy tht my family can accept him as my bf... (=
I hope u like my family too coz im very sure tht thy like u ... (=
anws, ntg much to post.
Except im getting an award for getting a 3.5 for my GPA.
i dun think its a really big deal to get it.
Coz its only th first exam semester.
im jst paiseyh to get up on stage. if i have to... which im nt really sure.
anws, Bucuk finally noes hu skittles is... hha.
and i hope u forget abt him. Coz ure th only candy in my life... =p
Tc folks...

For you...

2009-11-11T21:05:00.002+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

Dear love...
Im really sorry for hurting u so much.
I just hope there's room for forgiving me in ur heart.
And i also hoped tht u wud understand th decision tht i made.
Our rs has been on rocky roads lately.
And i think tht its mostly me who started it.
I jst dk whts wrng with me.
Coz smetimes i feel so insecure when ure nt with me.
If one day i din get to see ur face, i'd get moody and restless.
Even tho when im out with my friends laughing,
i'd still have th sorrow and longing to see u there and then.
When i din hear ur voice, i'd feel so empty.
And when i did hear ur voice, i jst dk how to express myself.
And i'd ended up sounding rude over th phone.
Honestly, im soo happy tht ure always concern abt me.
Bt i nvr really show it. Coz im bad at expressing my feelings...
But deep inside, i felt so touched to noe tht my bf really loves me.
I noe i hvnt been a good gf.
Always hanging out with friends rather thn u.
But i jst dun wna disturb ur space.
I dun wna b controlling over u.
Truth is, im really longing to be beside u.
With no one around.
To gaze in ur eyes.
To feel ur warmth.
Just us enjoying th weather and chit-chat under th sky.
Im really craving for time alone with u.
Ive never felt like this before with any guy at all.
And dear, i really wna make u my last.
Im not one hu likes to break promises.
And u rmmberd every promise i made to u.
I swear i wna hold on to it.
Jst sometimes im nt strong enough.
And u noe it.
I bet u can feel my heart waver...
Im so weak. Thts how i am.
I dun wnt u to change dear.
I wnt u to b like how u r.
I want us to b like how we were.
When we first met.
Friendly, caring, loving...
Lets get back to how we were...
Even tho we do fight again,
over small issues,
over big matter...
whatever th problem is,
let us support each other.
stick with each other.
and never give up k syg?
I really wna b someone in ur future.
Sumone u can lean on.
Sumone to hold u when ure down.
Sumone to go thru difficulties and pleasures tghtr.
I wna b tht woman for u.
And i hope u will for me too...
I really miss u bucuk... )'=
Ure th only one in my heart...

Hmm

2009-11-10T22:18:00.002+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

I think smething's wrong wif me.
I cnt laugh too much.
I'll puke if i do. And which i did.
Earlier on.
Gosh its soo strange to see green tea
mix wif tom yum cmg out frm my mouth. Urgh!
I feel most happy wen im with my friends. Coz thy cheer me up whn im down
Thy're always there fr me and standby me.
Tho sumtimes thy cn get me real mad and irritated,
friends usually does tht too. heh
Thx my friends... For being a listening-ear for me...
For making me smile when im down
For laughing with me
For caring for me
(= appreciate muchh.
PS: My heart is beginning to harden...
I cnt feel it anymre. Coz ure nt there to warm th heart.
Ive never felt so cold as i feel now...

Im bored.

2009-11-06T12:00:00.002+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

Ive never felt so bored as im feeling now.
DAmn... I hate to werk extra days aside frm th weekends... Arggh
Anws, yesterday outing after school was fun! We went to CWP for window shopping.
There were only 6 of us. Me, Qilah, Faiz, Amin, Saiful and Farhan.
Me and Qilah tried some of th dresses at Cotton On and Metro and cam-whored.
OMG! One photo tht i took of myself in th chnging room has something creepy in it.
Above th door there's actually a shot of idk wht bt looks like a ghost eyhhh...
I realised it only yesterday at home before sleep. hha
Anws, aft tht we went to Banquet to eat.
Aft tht at Civic, we saw a girl in sumone's ipod. hha!
And we bumped into thm again at th MRT.
Can see tht he's really nervous coz was sweaty and red in th face. hha
hhe... then we split ways and went bye-bye...
bye Suraya...

Haiz...

2009-11-02T20:33:00.002+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

Life is full of complications.
But there are two types of these complications.
One is when u create th problem(s) with or wout realising it.
And two is when it just came hitting at u.
Mybe i shud add 3. When people gets sore at u for no reason.
Is tht another complication?
Or just plain nonsense...?
Well, no matter wht it is, im gna stand strong (hopefully)
to withstand whtever's coming my way.
And i hope those people around me do too...
I love all my friends and families around me.
And i do love u too.

Sorry my love

2009-10-29T00:16:00.002+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

Dearest Love,
I'm soo sorry about how ive acted these past few days.
I noe ive not been myself with u...
And im angry at myself too...
I hope ur love never die for me...
We always fought over th smallest issue.
But when we finally made up,
tht was one of th best part in our rs...
I love u...
And to Dearest mom,
im sorry if ive been a bad daughter...
Idk wht cme over me smetimes...
But i never wna leave u...
Coz ure my mom. And i love u...

Happy 5 Monthsary bby!

2009-10-21T22:59:00.003+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

Time seems slow but its already
5 months im together with my sayang...
I just hope tht we will still go thru thick and thin,
tough or smooth,
ups and downs, together...
I noe there hve been alot of
challenges in our relationship.
And u noe it too...
BUT nevertheless, let us give our best and
walk down th road to our future together as one...
I want u to noe tht ill always be here for u...
and i hope u will for me too...
PS: I love u many2 sayangeh! muax!

Bummer

2009-10-19T18:51:00.002+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

Came to school late tdy... Saw an accident otw.
Was a motor accident. I think th rider died... coz he was coverd with a sheet.
Poor soul...
PS: I hate my hair soo much! Stupid hairstylist!
PPS: ILY~

Beyond belief...

2009-10-12T22:58:00.002+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

Today first day of school for second semester...
Had quite a few changes in timetable...
a bit happy with some of th timings...
But something ryte now seems to be worrying me v much.
Got me really upset just now...
Things arent going well for me...
Alot is going thru my mind...
Just wud like to say sorry to those tht has been hurt coz of me...
Im sorry...

Goodnight

2009-10-06T23:48:00.001+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

Goodnight
Sleep tight
No more tears...
In th morning, I'll be here
And when we say Goodnight
Dry ur eyes
Because we said Goodnight
And not Goodbye...

PS: myb its not u, its me...

Phew

2009-10-04T08:27:00.002+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

Now can finally heave a sigh of relief...
Everything is done!
MHA project has finally been implemented and we won th silver award!
Thx to all our teamwork and teacher's perseverance and hard work...
(=
Good work guys!

Out Raya-ing...

2009-09-29T23:48:00.003+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥

Today was th day my classmates and our friends wnt out raya-ing together...
Hehe... Its like been soo long since i went out raya-ing with friends... hha...
Coz few years bck din raya much as busy with work...
And am soo happy coz Bucuk came along too...
Of all days, i forgot to bring my camera...
Selenger seyh...
I wore th baju kurung in which i wore on th first day of raya...
Coz its pink, and wna match with boyfie... hehe...
lucky we were th only pink ones... ^.~
We went to quite alot of houses today.
And at most of th houses, their moms cooked alot for us to eat.
Rezeki di bulan raya katekan. (= hha... even tho perot th mengah arl,
we still cnnt resist th food displayed on th table... hha... makan3 takkk gemok2... yum!
Even went to Bucuk's house and raya there. OMG first time meet his mama!
I helped to serve th drinks~ (=
I was soo nervous and really hoped i din mess things up with th drinks.
Coz im very idiotically clumsy.
Alhamdullilah ntg selenger happened...
Just hoped tht i get a good impression...
hhe... and Bucuk's adek2 alr regard me as their sis-in-law... aww...
I was th first to went off early as i need to get home asap...
Abit sad coz need to part with my sayang and th gang...
split ways at UT mrt thn sayonara...
wish could upload some pics, but too bad th pics i took with my hp cnt trasnfer.
coz usb cable lost... aduhh...
kecoh ah my life... =p
PS: Thank u everyone
for making our raya-outing an enjoyable experience. (=
And thank u sayang
for being a great boyfriend...
(= ILY!

Once upon A Fairytale...

2009-09-25T21:52:00.002+08:00

Diva ~ With ♥ For You...

Once upon a time, there lives a girl named Ifa.
She was a lonely girl and did not noe th true meaning of love.
As time passed by, Ifa grew more lonelier each day...
One day, a handsome prince by th name of Zac saw Ifa alone at a crowded place.
Even tho th place is crowded and full of laughter,
th Prince can see tht Ifa is sad and lonely...
So, he made friends with Ifa and she is very happy!
Soon, their feelings started to grow for each other...
And when th Prince confessed to Ifa tht he loves her,
Ifa was th happiest girl alive!
Days passed by to weeks then to months...
During these period, there are times when both of them disagree
with each other and sometimes fight over th slightest problems...
But with those fights, it is to show tht thy care for each other,
and am afraid to lose one another...
And even tho th fights can get really serious,
Ifa is still happy coz it feels much more better
thn being lonely like before...
Ifa is thankful for her Prince and hoped tht
thy can see th beautiful meaning behind their relationship...
Every single day, Ifa will never lose th thoughts of her Prince...
And everytime thy meet each other, Ifa can't help but to
fall deeply in love over and over again...
Love is sooo deep tht Ifa never stopped falling... <3
Now all Ifa can hoped for is a happy-ending with her Prince Zac...
InsyaAllah
PS: I LOVE U BANGEH~